The Things People Search For…

The once ‘very lazy and spoilt baby doofus’ who claims to be a better person now, has tagged me with this keyword tag. I am supposed to search my usage log and find the key words (search strings) people have entered in various search engines, which have led them to my blog. I have omitted the most obvious ones and have listed 50 of the interesting ones along with my comments from about 1800 search strings from the last two month’s usage statistics.

  1. Birthday regrets – I don’t have any regrets
  2. Cancerians in the month September – I would say none. They are in June-July.
  3. How to resign from TCS – I think the procedure is still the same; just give a resignation letter…
  4. Bike fell canal wet – Wow that is something I need to see, bike falling and the canal suddenly becoming wet 🙂
  5. Cigarette and saree – Not a very good combination
  6. Car clutch spasms – Get the car to a workshop ASAP
  7. Define cho chweet – I think it is a Thai delicacy
  8. Ganja poems – Will be very interesting to read
  9. Gold flakes in marijuana – Must be extra premium marijuana; specially made for the rich addicts.
  10. Hema Malini and Madhuri Dixit without make up – No idea, not seen either of them without make up.
  11. Kallu shop meen curry – You will love it…
  12. Lalgudi Jayaraman paralysis – News to me; last time I heard, he was doing well…
  13. Mail ID of people working in TCS – Why you need them? Any way I don’t have it.
  14. Manali cream and manipal ganja – Both are excellent
  15. Nice way to wake up – Open your eyes and get out of bed, I suppose…
  16. Reflections of a weed smoker – I think I should change my blog title.
  17. Scissor Sharon Stone – I know this search is done by Mind Curry 🙂
  18. Silverine spiral notebooks – Hey Silverine, I didn’t know that you were manufacturing notebooks. Send me a few 🙂
  19. Ur no saint are u – No, I am not…
  20. Which alcohol makes one drunk fast – Depends on who is drinking…
  21. Whisky and beer cocktail potency – Very high.
  22. Ganja leaf – Don’t tempt me…
  23. Books accidents hospital wheelchair – Sorry, I don’t know what these things have in common
  24. Drunken college – I would love to study there. I hope they will be serving free booze in the classrooms!
  25. Drunk of the day Anand – But these days he claims that he is preparing hard for the exams.
  26. Hot wiring a bus – Sorry, it is a trade secret.
  27. How alexis got kissed – I wish I had, so far no luck 🙁
  28. Alexis got wild – This search was done by somebody who knows me very well 😉
  29. Alcohol and bhang – Nice combination
  30. Alexis will only tease – Don’t be very sure about that. Grrr…
  31. Ladies hostel in Trivandrum – E-mail me and I will tell you the names 🙂
  32. How to remove hacksaw blade – From where?
  33. Replacing a hacksaw blade – To the same spot from where the earlier one was removed, I suppose… The things people do!!!
  34. Time management beer, rock beer, jar beer, beer jar, life beer – Wow, what variety. I would definitely like some Time management beer and life beer.
  35. World’s great natural mentally depressed – So many people know me very well 🙁 Now I am waiting for World’s great natural mentally retard
  36. Alexis 27 years 2 kids – Not true! I swear.
  37. All my friends got married but I am still a bachelor – What can I do?
  38. Bootleg turns automatic – That would make things a lot easier 😉
  39. How do you know if u have cherry on your cherry tree – Looking, I suppose.
  40. Working in TCS is accident – Many people might not agree with that. On second thoughts they might…
  41. Idukki ganja – Good stuff, but I have stopped all that stuff. I am a very decent member of the society these days…
  42. Alexis in kallu shop – The crimes of the past will always come back to haunt you…
  43. Sexy miss scissor – This again is Mind Curry…
  44. Kallu shop website – Another good title for my blog
  45. Alexis fell in cesspool with salesgirl – Oh God! If the salesgirl was with me, I would have gone to some other place 😉
  46. Silverine flasks – You manufacture flasks too… Spiral notebooks, flasks, now what?
  47. Alexis desire Sharon Stone – My God, somebody is reading my mind 🙂
  48. The most beautiful cancerians – I am one among them 🙂
  49. silverine ganja – My God, you have an illegal business too. Nice brand name! Any underworld connections?
  50. One night with Chetan Bhagat – How would I know? I am straight.

I am not tagging anyone. If someone is interested ( I hope someone will be) please take a few minutes to complete this tag. It is a very scary experience!!!


  1. Kusum Rohra said,

    September 25, 2006 at 6:00 pm

    LOL!!! This list is amazing 😀

    You might not be a saint but you definitely are a star for taking this and finishing it so fast 😀

    Alexis fell in cesspool with salesgirl

    hehehe …

    The most beautiful cancerians-I am one among them

    I agree 😀 so please forget all that depressed wipressed thing OK!!

  2. Anju said,

    September 25, 2006 at 7:22 pm

    Alexis, my stomach is aching with the non stop giggling in silent mode in the office. This was way too hilarious!!!!

    “sexy miss scissors” ROTFL you do have wandering eyes doc MC !!!

    And err.. Alexis did you have to expose my side businesses? 🙁 Do you know how expensive living is these days? One has to do everything possible to make ends meet.

    “One night with Chetan Bhagat – How would I know? I am straight. ” – ROFL …here I go again!!!!

  3. Alexis Leon said,

    September 25, 2006 at 7:46 pm

    Kusum: Thanks my dear lady. I too was amazed to find that ‘Alexis fell in cesspool with salesgirl’ in the search string.

    Anju: Thanks. Coming from the crown princess of humor and satire, it really is an honor. MC’s tryst with Miss Scissors (and danger) is still not over 🙂

    About exposing your side business, you are getting free advertisement and that means more customers and profits 😉 A few cheques my way would be greatly appreciated 🙂

  4. Fleiger said,

    September 25, 2006 at 8:17 pm

    Books accidents hospital wheelchair – Sorry, I don’t know what these things have in common
    The person must be moving through the hospital, reading the book, when the wheelchair came in front suddenly… Very few people like me can read and be completely aware of surroundings.

    And what’s with Mind curry and scissors? I wonder…

    Silverine produces spiral notebooks, flasks and ganja. Quite a wide portfolio I think. Must look into the business model soon…

    BTW, nice blog… will be back soon to read the complete back-(b)log.

  5. Anju said,

    September 25, 2006 at 9:32 pm

    “Alexis fell in cesspool with salesgirl ”

    I am reading it again and ROTFL !!!!

  6. thanu said,

    September 25, 2006 at 10:24 pm

    Loved it.. funny how searches to silverine got them here alle?

  7. Alexis Leon said,

    September 25, 2006 at 10:39 pm

    Fleiger: Welcome to my blog. Nice to know that you liked the blog. Sorry for the confusion. The common factor is me.

    Mind Curry and Scissors – That’s a very long story. You can read it at

    Silverine – She is a very resourceful lady. But trying to look at the business model could be dangerous. No self respecting ganja manufacturer would allow that. You could end up with a few limbs missing 🙂 Got the picture?

    Anju: That really was a shocker. I would love to know who did that search 🙂

    Thanu: Thanks Thanu. Yes, it is really funny–one of downsides of being famous and popular 🙂

  8. Kusum Rohra said,

    September 25, 2006 at 10:58 pm

    @Anju: I am ready to advertise your stuff on my blog too. Not to worry there are well 5 readers I got, 3 of which I throughly terrorise, will ask them to buy the flasks and notebooks and well ok Ganja too, how much will you pay?

  9. James Bright said,

    September 26, 2006 at 12:22 am

    It was a strange surprise to see how people were taken into your blog through the search engines! And the tag too looked very strange!
    “Alexis fell in cesspool with salesgirl”
    “World’s great natural mentally retard…”
    “Alexis 27 years 2 kids”
    “How Alexis got kissed”
    “Alexis desire Sharon Stone” are my personnel favourites!

  10. Fleiger said,

    September 26, 2006 at 1:50 am

    Oh no, that was a shocking story of betrayal with scissors… Really cutting edge stuff… (bit of mixed metaphors here, but I guess you got what I meant)

    And I read your profile, I was just trying to imagine a common factor from other point of view.

    And tell Silverine that I am looking into just distribution model, not as much from manufacturing POV. I mean, the things need entirely different salesforce, different customers… Sorry, that’s one thing you get when you come out of Marketing class and read something like this.

    And what’s the story with salesgirl now?

  11. Alexis Leon said,

    September 26, 2006 at 10:13 am

    James: I too was surprised. But it was fun reading those key words.

    Fleiger: It was a shocking story. Yes, really cutting edge stuff. I don’t think Silverine will have any problems if you pay the consultancy fee 🙂

    OMG, there you go again! There is no story with the salesgirl, I swear.

  12. Sreejith Kumar said,

    September 26, 2006 at 10:33 am

    Number 20 was great! I liked it the most! 🙂

    By the way, most of the keywords seem to be negative! LOL… Kallu shop and booze and that too in college….. It seems like you were a knowledgeable person when you were in Trivandrum. I shall mail you separetely for the full list of ladies hostels! 😉

  13. Suji said,

    September 26, 2006 at 11:47 am

    This is very very funny….ROFL.!!! But did you realise that most of the searches involving booze and ganga lead to your blog. I wonder why??? 😉

  14. Jo said,

    September 26, 2006 at 3:39 pm

    LOL!!! Too good man!!! 😀

  15. Fleiger said,

    September 26, 2006 at 5:19 pm

    Err… I was thinking of other way round, say I would be consultant and all… Let’s see.

    And why is everybody asking about the salesgirl then? You know what they say, no smoke without… 😉

  16. chacko said,

    September 26, 2006 at 5:23 pm

    🙂 u r post reminds me about my stat counter..i checked it 3 – 4months ago. time to check it again 🙂

  17. lalitha said,

    September 26, 2006 at 9:24 pm

    Nice tag Alexis..I like the one alexis falls in cesspool with salesgirl. nice one.

  18. Anju said,

    September 26, 2006 at 10:44 pm

    @Kusum: err…dear thanks for the offer and all that but at present we are trying out ‘word of mouth’ publicity…no special reason, but just for the lark we thought that Premium Silverine Ganja should be promoted like other premium products..besides I think the tea they serve in the Central Jail nowadays sucks 🙁

    @Fleiger: ahem….the spiral note book and flask is the totally new packaging we are trying out….just for the lark…you know…it has nothing to do with the really bad tea they serve in Central Jail and *horrors* bed bugs !!!!

  19. Fleiger said,

    September 27, 2006 at 1:19 am

    Hmm… diversifying and stuff. That’s what I was thinking, how can you maintain 3 different lines.
    So, planning to go “legit” and stuff huh? Best luck, Silvereone…

  20. Sarah said,

    September 27, 2006 at 7:52 am

    I read this in the morning, now am back again.. I needed to laugh and am laughing and laughing, thinking about the sales girl….

  21. emmanuel said,

    September 27, 2006 at 11:18 am

    loved it man…………
    at office now……..suppressing my laughter…… it twice or thrice……

    really hilarious…..the keywords as well as ur comments………..

    keep going………
    take care……

  22. chekku said,

    September 27, 2006 at 12:38 pm

    superb..this one was one helluva ROTFL stuff..

  23. Alexis Leon said,

    September 27, 2006 at 7:44 pm

    Sreejith: Kallu shop and booze and that too in college Where else? But there will be a fee for the list 🙂

    Suji: Thanks Suji. The reason why most searches involving booze and ganja lead to my blog are the following posts: Wisdom of Drunken Crowds, Cocktails… and Ganja Tales…

    Jo: Thanks Jo.

    Fleiger: No way… we have the experience and expertise and you are the novice. So you no chance of you becoming a consultant 🙂 Salesgirl, I am being framed. This is a conspiracy to tarnish my reputation 🙂

    chacko: Why don’t you take the tag? It’s fun.

    lalitha: Thanks Starry.

    Sarah: Thanks Sarah. About the salesgirl, I refuse to comment 🙂

    emmanuel: Thanks buddy.

    chekku: Thank you Mathew.

  24. Anand K said,

    September 27, 2006 at 9:51 pm

    Pretty original, but weird tag. Ya Khuda, the things people come up with in their spare time! 😛

    BTW, thanx for crowning me Drunk of the Day! It is a great honor for a person who’s last official post (in this mortal plane) was Class Leader (for one term) in Std VII. Sad, sad me… eh? 😉

    PS: One night with Chetan Bhagat takes the cake. Last book he wrote was about encounter with God in a train (One Night at the Call Centre)… We are waiting for his next work, a tell-all towering romance-memoir titled “Reflections of that Night” starring Alexis L!

  25. Fleiger said,

    September 27, 2006 at 10:44 pm

    Why are there so many conspirators? So many people can’t be wrong… basic law of democracy 😉

  26. Ganja Turtle said,

    September 28, 2006 at 9:57 am

    @ alex – am happy about the prominence given to ganja! esp idukki ganja – theres a lovely place in munnar called bodhamaedu – u can imagine – heights of ecstasy!!!

    @anju – woman, you too are in the same biz!! paaartner!

  27. Dhanush Gopinath said,

    September 28, 2006 at 10:07 am

    Well as u said this tag must have been really painful to do. Getting the search strings!! I cant believe ppl have typed “How to resign from TCS” and “All my friends got married but I am bachelor”. And other too are ROTFL stuff 🙂

  28. Mind Curry said,

    September 28, 2006 at 11:42 am

    haha..what awesome stuff..i been a bit unwell and hence not been able to visit all my blogpals pages as often as i woulda liked to..but i am gonna kick myself for having missed this and your last post for so long!

    you have talent man!

    silverine flasks, spiral notebooks and ganja..i knew it!!

    sixela is taking over your life i can see, alexis..

    i have no idea why people still connect me to miss.scissors! man! that was history..we havent spoken for months now ..sob sob..

  29. Alexis Leon said,

    September 28, 2006 at 8:18 pm

    Anand: Yes, I agree with you on that—things people come up with in their spare time. But I didn’t crown you as the drunk of the day! Some of your other buddies did. In fact, I defended you 🙂 But IMHO it is a better title than Class Leader of Std VII ;-).

    PS: I don’t have anything to do with Chetan Bhagat. So I won’t be starring in any book by him. You have a twisted mind and a wild imagination 🙂

    Fleiger: Oh yes, so many people can be wrong. And again, just because the majority says something, that doesn’t make it true. Another basic law of democracy 😉

    Ganja Turtle: I have written only one post about ganja. But the people seem to be very interested in that stuff. Yes, heights of ecstasy—I had been there enough times for a life time 🙂 So, another ganja manufacturer. Jon the club.

    Dhanush: Oh yes, believe it. People did type those search strings. The cyberspace is full of very creative people 🙂

    Mind Curry: Hope you are feeling well and fine now. I thought you met with some of those ruffians you mentioned in the Coke/Pepsi post 🙂 I was wondering about you. Thought you were on some business trip.

    Yes, Silverine’s business empire is larger and shadier than I thought. Look at the diversification—spiral notebooks, flasks, ganja and I am sure there is more. Hiding the illegal businesses behind the notebook and flask companies, which is a very clever and effective technique.

    I am undergoing therapy, so pls don’t mention Sixela ;-). I am in a similar fix as you are. The ghost of Sixela is haunting me just as the ghost of Miss. Scissors is haunting you. We are in the same boat bro 🙁

  30. Anju said,

    September 28, 2006 at 9:23 pm

    “I am undergoing therapy, so pls don’t mention Sixela . I am in a similar fix as you are. The ghost of Sixela is haunting me just as the ghost of Miss. Scissors is haunting you. We are in the same boat bro” 🙂

    I am afraid both of you haunted gentlemen need an Exorcist and not a therapist ROFL
    my prayers are with you….you will need it !
    lol I am cracking up again =))

  31. Fleiger said,

    September 29, 2006 at 4:19 am

    Majority wins… And what’s this with exorcist now? A salesgirl selling exorcisms?

  32. Geo said,

    September 29, 2006 at 8:41 am

    Alcohol, ganga, kallu
    Alexis, you do have a very good reputation in the blog world 😀

    Decent guys llike me should stay away from your blog, I guess

    PS: Top class stuff sir 🙂

  33. Mind Curry said,

    September 29, 2006 at 5:25 pm

    i have been diagnosed as having a certain “sweet itch” and a severe case of of “Alexis bledel” by a certain someone-sweet we know..

    sighh..i hope they find a cure soon for my condition, coz the exorcist refused to accept me as a patient. woe to me..

    @ geo – decent guy was staying away from blogosphere it seemed like..

  34. Alexis Leon said,

    September 29, 2006 at 11:18 pm

    Anju: Your diagnosis is correct. But MC couldn’t find an exorcist. I found one, but he thinks that my Sixelea personality is cute and trying to exorcise me. So don’t be surprised if the next post is by Sixela 🙁

    Fleiger: That is another long story 🙂

    Geo ban gaya Gentelman: Alcohol, ganja and kallu – that is the first place I would look for you. My reputation is gone, my persolanlity is being taken over, all because of this tag…sob…sob..

    MC: I think the ganga from Silverine’s factory would cure you and me. She might give the stuff free. After all, what are friends for?

  35. venus said,

    September 30, 2006 at 3:36 am

    I see you have drunken, alcohol, bhang, ganja, beer repeated all over!

    what’s the secret AL ?? Are you hiding something from us ? 😉

    funny that you’ve put: Geo ban gaya gentleman !?!?! 😀

  36. Fleiger said,

    September 30, 2006 at 7:29 am

    My favourite kind…. hit me…

  37. Anju said,

    September 30, 2006 at 11:20 am

    ahem I am back..sorry for the delay but I was attending a snap course in ‘Exorcism- Guaranteed 1% success”

    So who is first? 😐


    @GT: Paaardnerrrr!!!!!!

  38. anu said,

    September 30, 2006 at 12:49 pm

    great !! ur sense of humor is amazing..!!