If…
Yesterday my friend cum editor cum publisher called me. While talking he casually told me that 2008 was a year that I have published not even a single book, since I started writing books in 1995. I knew that I had not published a book this year, but hearing someone else saying it made me feel bad and guilty.
I had promised a book to one of my publishers in December 2007, got it rescheduled for March 2008, but have not still given it. Now I have to get it rescheduled for March 2009. These kinds of slips in schedules—missing schedules by more than a year—have not happened to me. I always used to deliver the manuscripts on or ahead of schedule. Thinking about it made me feel worse and guiltier.
I have not written a post in my blog since last March. I had written an article about why CEOs need personal websites and blogs, but never bothered to keep mine updated. I never thought people are still visiting my blog. But when I checked the Statcounter reports, I couldn’t believe that people are still visiting the blog. This again made me feel bad and guilty.
I checked the blogs of my blog pals and found that most of them have averaged more than 100 posts this year. It made me feel worse and guiltier once again. So, my sincere apologies to my publishers, readers, and blog pals.
This was a bad year for me. My health was bad. In fact this year was one of the worst years for me. From 2000 to 2007, I must have gone to the hospital about 5 times; this year I was in and out of the hospital. It all started with an experiment in acupressure. All my experiments with alternative treatments have ended in disasters. So why I agreed to undergo the acupressure is a good question. It was due in parts to the pressure from my family and well-wishers and my hope of some reduction in body pain. But I should have known better. Like all my previous trysts with alternative therapies (Oh yes, I have tried several of them—Ayurveda, Reiki, Pranic Healing, Sidha, Unani, and so on), this also was a disaster.
The Acupressure treatment is worse than Chinese torture. When the therapist applies pressure on the pressure points, you would see sun, moon, stars, heaven, and hell—all at once. I endured the pain as there was some decrease in body pain initially. But now I wonder whether it was an illusion as I was subjected to more intense pain during the acupressure sessions. A few weeks into the treatment, the problem started—severe bleeding from the sweat pores of my thighs. This was the area that got burned during an Ayurvedic experiment in 1996, making the skin fragile and prone to problems. I must have lost more than 2 litres blood in 2-3 days. My haemoglobin level plummeted from 11.2 to 7.6 in just 3 days. I had to go to the hospital and cauterise the bleeding spots. This was in the last week of March. From then onwards for the past 6-7 months, the haemoglobin level was going up and down. Every time I plug a bleeding spot, another one will open. When I asked my doctor about it, he told it was due to Acupressure treatment.
Acupressure improved the blood circulation, which is good, if your body is not paralyzed. But in my case, since the blood circulation and blood pressure of the paralyzed body parts are low, and since it has been many years after my accident (2nd December, 2008 was my 15th anniversary), there was considerable cellular degradation and the walls of the blood vessels were weak. So, these blood vessels and capillaries were not strong enough to withstand the increased blood flow and they ruptured and bleeding started. Thus, with many trips to the hospital, and the haemoglobin levels going up and down, the last few months had been quite entertaining! Now things are stabilizing and I hope it will improve.
During this time, I was not in a mood to write. I had thought that I had learned to compartmentalize the body pain and discomfort from my work. Yes, I can do that to some extent and I did manage to do quite a few things during last months. But most of the time I used to read, listen to music or watch movies so I could take my mind off from the body and pain. But I wasted quite a lot of time that could have been used productively.
I tried to make a start many a time, but failed. The mistake was that I always tried to hit the ground running rather than taking it slow and then building the pace gradually. So, I have now set some realistic goals. If I can work for one hour in the morning and one at night that will do for starters. Once, I can maintain that for a week or so, I plan to increase the time slowly to reach my ten-hour-a-day work schedule. For my blog, the current goal is one post per month which I plan to increase to 2 or 3 when the time is right.
As Rudyard Kipling wrote:
“If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!”
Now that is all I am planning to do—fill every minute of the two hours that I work with sixty seconds of quality stuff. I hope I will be able to do that…
Priyanka said,
December 3, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Wish u a good health, and stamina to complete your book..
take care
Binerry said,
December 3, 2008 at 11:48 pm
Nice to have u back…. u were missed…. ithu thanu thane under a new name and blog…
Rachel said,
December 4, 2008 at 12:41 am
Hey Alexis!! So good to see u r up and running 🙂
3 cheers!! Thumbs up!!
mathew said,
December 4, 2008 at 12:47 am
Alexis …although nice to see you back i know it was not a good reason you didnot post all along…you dont have to apologise for that!!
Missed reading your posts over this period..but definetly your new vigour to write makes me really happy…
btw am dropping home in 3 days!!:-)
wishing you a 2009 of better health…..
Julie said,
December 4, 2008 at 1:06 am
Hi Alexis,
I was a silent reader. Used to check for your new posts. Glad to see you back.
All the best.
starry nights said,
December 4, 2008 at 4:31 am
Hey Alexis, nice to see you back.Missed reading your posts but I can understand how you feel and wish you better health in the days to come.take care of yourself and blog when you feel like.I will always stop by to read.
kajan said,
December 4, 2008 at 6:10 am
Alexis,
It’s wonderful to see your post again. I wish you better health. Take care.
Since this may be your one post for this month,
Wish you a Merry Christmas and hope you have a wonderful, productive 2009! All the best.
Geo said,
December 4, 2008 at 9:47 am
Its easy for me to quote Kipling
“If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same; “
But you know it much better than me.
Hoping that you will have a blasting time ahead!
Dhanya said,
December 4, 2008 at 11:44 am
Yes you were missed during this period, but we all know that it won’t be without a reason since you are the person who have always stood up fighting against all odds. Wishing you a speedy recovery and good health in the coming days..Take care..
Ankita said,
December 4, 2008 at 2:37 pm
Hi Alexis,
Hope u r much better now. Wishing u a speedy recovery. Missed your writings. Visited your blog several times but was disappointed. But now no complains!
Mishmash! said,
December 4, 2008 at 8:59 pm
Hi there 🙂 Even when your posts didnt appear on my reader, I used to come here once a while, just to check if by any chance you have posted something new and my reader has failed to capture the feed…but never even thought that you were dealing with all these difficulties……..but pls dont apologise ….
hope the coming year will be better ……wishing you better health, completeion of your assignments and more posts for us 🙂
Take care
Shn
S said,
December 4, 2008 at 10:51 pm
:-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thualsy Mary Elizabeth said,
December 5, 2008 at 5:47 am
Hi Alexis,
Good to see you back.Wishing you Good health and a Happy New Year ahead.
Sheeba said,
December 6, 2008 at 12:17 am
Hi Alex,I am very much happy to see u here again. I am sure, in 2009 u will achieve all those realistic goals set by u, and even more ! I pray for ur good health and happiness.. Happy New Year !
Sheeba.
Sreejith Kumar said,
December 6, 2008 at 2:13 am
Sir, hope you are in good condition now. I sincerely hope the rest of 2008 and all the new years to come will be filled with good fortunes, and good health for you. Great to see you back.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Emmanuel said,
December 6, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Great to see you back. 🙂
suja said,
December 6, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Hi Alexis
I am very happy to see your new post
never disappointed .yes you can,only you can able to do that
suja
chhuani said,
December 6, 2008 at 10:40 pm
May God bless you with speedy recovery.
Anitha said,
December 7, 2008 at 3:55 am
I am a silent reader of your blog and always check for new post.
Very nice to see you back and may GOD bless you.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Deepti said,
December 8, 2008 at 3:11 pm
Hi,
I have been reading your blog for quite sometime. And yes, i used to come to your blogs often to see if you have written something new. Glad to see you back.
Hope your pain reduces fast, may God bless you.
Merry Christmas in advance
James Bright said,
December 12, 2008 at 1:52 am
It is very nice to see you back Alexis.
Wish you good health always.
I used to check your blog some times..!
Keep writing..!
James.
Ganja Turtle said,
December 14, 2008 at 1:20 pm
Hi Alex,
Nice to have you back… Although I havent updated mine in over a year, I used to check your and Silverine’s blog every now and then to see whats happening my oldblogosphere. I am happy you’re back in action despite odds.
I remember times when my dad went through a lot of alternate therapies mostly ayurveda; unlike you, he did not suffer from pain but on the contrary all the kizhis started making him feel nice and cozy that he continued on his beef and fish diet!
I am glad you have been able to move beyond this and look forward to your posts…
– GT
Pradip Somasundaran said,
December 15, 2008 at 6:46 am
Dear Alexis,
Was really worried on what was happening at your end. Am so relieved to see this post. Hope everything comes back to what it was soon and u are busy again with work. I have an apt song for you, posted yesterday on my Blog. It’s about hope, courage and love….It’s a tribute to all of those who are fighting against the odds…the whole human race…
mary cherian said,
December 15, 2008 at 11:28 pm
missed ur post was checking 4 new writings.wish u speedy recovery
Alexis Leon said,
December 19, 2008 at 10:12 pm
To all: Thank you very much for the wishes. It is nice to be back. Once again that you your love, encouragement and support.