When you are feeling sad…

Once in a while I feel very sad and get depressed; no big deal—everybody get depressed once in a while!

The trigger for the depression could anyone of the myriad reasons that I have—body pain, inability to do what I want to, something that I did, something that I didn’t do, something that I should have done, an opportunity missed, an opportunity that I should have missed, a harsh word spoken, a harsh word that was addressed to me, a deadline missed, time wasted, something that I forgot, something that I should have failed to remember, and so on.

Once I am in the depressive mood, I try to get out it as soon as possible; but it is not always easy. My depression fighting techniques include watching a humorous or action packed movie, reading thrillers, listening to music, watching the plants and flowers in our garden, writing about the cause of depression, etc.

Most of the time they work. But, there are times none of these techniques work and I will be in a depressed mood making the life difficult for everyone in the house.

The most effective way to fight depression is to think about your blessings. We don’t realize how fortunate we are. We complain and whine about the smallest inconvenience, slightest discomfort, or minutest annoyance. We say life is not fair. We become depressed and think why only we have to strive hard and struggle to get something done.

But if we look around, we will find people who really struggle, toil and labor to make a living. We will find people without homes, food, clothes, medical care, etc. For these people everyday is a battle for survival and every meal has to be earned breaking their backs. If they don’t work a day, they and their families won’t eat. They don’t have the luxury of vacations or holidays.

Once we look around us, we will realize how fortunate we are. How small are our problems compared to many others? We will realize that we don’t have any right to complain, feel sad, or get depressed.

So the next time when you get depressed or feel bad, think about the countless people who are less fortunate than you. Then you won’t feel so bad; that is something I can guarantee.


  1. Paresh said,

    March 31, 2009 at 12:23 pm

    Well said. Dare I repeat this a millionth time that You are My Role Model 🙂

  2. Alexis Leon said,

    March 31, 2009 at 12:31 pm

    Paresh: Thanks Paresh. But you are my role model 🙂

  3. kunjootty said,

    March 31, 2009 at 12:38 pm

    Truly said. If everyone used the same technique and stopped complaining about trivial things, the world would be a much better place to live in.

    So this time around, writing about it didnt help i guess right? Hope your mood has improved by now 🙂

  4. Dhanush Gopinath said,

    March 31, 2009 at 12:47 pm

    How true Alexis. We always get depressed on silly things, which for others who are less fortunate are not at all a subject.

    @Paresh And Alexis
    Paresh’s Role model = Alexis
    Alexis Role model = Paresh

    Since LHS = RHS (By Dhanush’s Therom of Role Modelling 😉 )
    Theorem Proved that Both of you are Role models to all the people around the globe.

  5. hammy said,

    March 31, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    I’ve often clashed head on with this phrase… Look at the countless number of people who are less fortunate than us, and be happy for your blessings.

    I can’t appreciate the spirit of that statement… Sure, you are better off than a large chunk of people… and it IS important that you know that. I won’t argue on that count. It makes you more empathetic, and channels way for human emotions and a sense of bonding. And all that is important.

    However, “Be happy cos there are others worse than you” is NOT a progressive statement. You need to understand that you are better off than many, but you STILL need to strive ahead… to look forward and make progress… It’s the only path that will help.

    That being said, being depressed like that isn’t going to help either. I’ve been there.. Several times. It comes and goes; sometimes it lingers on. Though there are times when I never quite figured out why I got depressed at some point in time, it is important to answer that question.

    What is depressing you? Can you handle it? To what extend can you handle it? Solve problems, focus on feeling better.

    You may not always figure out what was the depressing factor. But one thing I can safely assume… you were depressed NOT because you thought everybody else in the world is doing better than you… Solutions need to be customized.

    And I really REALLY need to stop rambling.

  6. Anjali said,

    March 31, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    Thats exactly what I do and then I feel so relived that I don’t have bigger problems! Nice to see you blogging again! 🙂

  7. Dhanya said,

    March 31, 2009 at 7:45 pm

    Well said and if you don’t know you are a continued source of inspiration for many people around. Some you know and some you don’t know at all 🙂

  8. Alexis Leon said,

    March 31, 2009 at 8:20 pm

    kunjootty : Thanks Kunjooty. This is something I wanted to write about quite some time. But yesterday, I had to hear a friend telling me how unfair life is and while others get everything on a platter he has to toil. All this ranting was because he didn’t get the increment he was expecting. I told him he was lucky to have a job, many professionals, who are equally good, have lost their jobs. That conversation triggered this post 😉
    Dhanush : Nice to see you buddy. Hope things are fine and you are still going for rides on the Tbird. I really liked your theorem 🙂
    hammy : You totally missed the point. What I wrote was that when there are many people who are struggling and going ahead with their lives without complaining, one does not have the right to get depressed or feel bad over trivial issues.
    Being better off than a large chunk of people is good; the self awareness is also good. Because if one is aware of that, then as you have said it “makes you more empathetic, and channels way for human emotions and a sense of bonding.”
    I never have said that one should feel happy, because there are others worse than you. All I said is that when you feel depressed or bad, when you feel life is not fair, think about the thousands for whom life is harder. It is not to make you happy. It is to make you realize how fortunate you are. When you know how fortunate you are, you will be able to appreciate what you have and strive harder to become better.
    Getting depressed and feeling bad is normal as I have mentioned in the beginning of the post. Believe me, I have been there several times and have handled depression as best as I can.
    Sometimes you know the cause of the depression, but you can’t do much about it. You may be able to handle it. But there is no solution for it. In such cases, when you think of the people who fight the adversities, give you strength and courage to move on.
    Anjali : Thanks Anju. It is nice to be back. Hope I will me more regular this year. I am still catching up with the old posts of my blogpals. Some of your posts made me ROTFL.
    Dhanya : Thanks Dhanya 🙂

  9. Dhanush Gopinath said,

    April 1, 2009 at 10:55 am

    @Alexis – Its reduced these days, planned for an all Kerala trip in monsoon last year, but had to stop in mid way. Read about it here (http://chall-dhanno.blogspot.com/2008/08/finding-kerala-and-facing-monsoon.html) and here (http://chall-dhanno.blogspot.com/2008/08/not-finding-kerala-and-facing-monsoon.html)

    Plus work has increased a lot more these days. Theorem 😉 I have been always good at maths.

  10. kunjootty said,

    April 1, 2009 at 11:55 am

    hmm.. can understand the reason for your bad mood now… i would either have totally ignored his rants or given that guy a piece of my mind.
    with the economy setback we are going through now, i think India is doing much better than some other countries. feel really sad when i heard about some of my american teammates who were laid off at the very first drop of the pin, even though they have been working at the company for more than 10 years and so on. hope the situation improves fast!!

  11. S said,

    April 2, 2009 at 3:13 pm

    I concur. I subscribe to what a very wise person once said,” By all means spend some time on the pity pot; but once done, don’t forget to flush!” I do feel all the better for wallowing in self pity once in a while for not more than 5 mins but beyond that find the depressing state of mind a little too depressing to sustain!!! Totally corny I know but I’m sure you’ll know what I mean!!!
    Having said that, I appreciate that full fledged clinical depression takes a lot more than counting one’s blessing to move out of.

  12. Alexis Leon said,

    April 2, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    S: I completely agree with you mon ami 🙂 Your perspective on life is very unique and refreshing, especially in this age of pessimism and despair. I relate with the idea of wallowing in self pity for short periods of time and then completely forgetting about the problem after gaining a clearer insight. Je vraiment apprécie vos commentaires sur mon blog et attends avec intérêt de lire plus de elles.

  13. S said,

    April 6, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    Aw Gawsh!! You’re too kind! I thank you most humbly!
    Je suis tres impressed avec votre francais!!!

  14. usha said,

    April 6, 2009 at 6:17 pm

    i am just going thru one of those phases and was trying to bloghop away my blues, wondering whether an evening stroll would help me pull myself out of it.. and then i bump into this post. Thanks for writing!

  15. Alexis Leon said,

    April 10, 2009 at 11:18 am

    Usha: Welcome to my blog. I wish you a happy Easter and Vishu.