While she was leaving, I didn’t try to stop her.
Once she had made up her mind she wouldn’t change.
I knew trying to stop her would be futile.
She said she still loved me but needed a break.
She needed some time to think—a bit of ‘me time.’
She said I should e-mail her about what I was
doing, and she would do the same.
I looked at her car long after it became a speck.
I was sad but it was her decision—
‘The zing has gone out of the relationship,’ she said
‘Give it some time and everything would come back.’
So, I concentrated on my work and studies.
I was doing a part-time job and pursuing a PhD.
I didn’t send her any e-mails, I wrote long letters
with my Mont Blanc fountain pen and black ink.
The ink was called mystery black and I loved it.
I wrote a letter every week—long letters on cream paper.
I told her everything that was happening, along with my thoughts.
I asked her to register for a PhD as it was one of her goals.
She replied by e-mail and told me what was happening in her life.
Her e-mails were short and filled with bulleted lists.
They lacked warmth, except in the final paragraph.
This continued for three years and six months.
I got my PhD and got a full-time job with flexitime.
One year later she got her PhD and got a teaching job.
We never called. Our only communication was
through my letters and her e-mails.
Then one day, she arrived just like she left.
She said she had a lot of time to think.
She said that she was moving with me and
had found a teaching job in my city.
I was happy and she was happy.
We celebrated our reunion with dinner
at a fancy restaurant, followed by tender lovemaking.
I realized that giving the other space and
letting go was good for a relationship.
Initially both of us were possessive and
that ruined the intimacy between us.
Now we have an intimate relationship that
gives space and ‘me time’ to the other.
I believe that, combined with mutual respect and
unconditional love, this is the secret to a good relationship.
